6 month Wrap-up

After almost 6 months of maternity leave and 2 5-week long trips to Illinois to hang with family, I have crossed over and become a working mom. It was a big adjustment to resume the life I'd led before Sadie entered my world and then again, it wasn't. The night before my first day back, I slept only a handful of hours. Sadie woke up constantly, and I woke up constantly. My anxiety about being away from my girl longer than ever before must have rattled us both. But no matter what, that morning came. And after loads of advice and planning to Caleb and lots of kisses, I got in the car and drove to work. I walked in the door to hellos and welcome backs and was it hard to leaves? and with tears in my eyes, said yes and thanks and that was that. And Caleb fed her green beans at 10am, which was not in our plan (at all), but that was okay too, because the torch had been passed and he was in charge now. I think that was the hardest part of it, the relinquishing control... the knowing that things would happen that I would not be there for... that I didn't get to spend every moment with her, leading her through this world and experiencing it again through her eyes. But I do get to do that, just lunch hours, nights and weekends. The work part wasn't hard, it was like riding a bike. I've had that job for 5 years, it was a part of who I was and so it was not difficult to reestablish as a part of who I am. I am glad that I didn't have to start a new job, because that would have been REALLY hard. And I've been busy with lots of casting and shows and projects and movies and so the days go pretty fast. And I've had some run ins with some big celebs on set. I do like my job, but I'm not going to lie- I wish it was more balanced. Maybe someday.

I still can't believe how fast time is going. My girl is 6 months old today. I used my mad cake decorating skills (I took a class while I was home in Illinois, note- not really that great of skills, but I'm trying haha) to make her a 1/2 birthday cake. CB's in Europe on tour again, and my mom is coming tomorrow to visit. I have no idea what to have us be for Halloween and the holidays seem to be practically upon us.

I thought it might be nice to write a little letter to Sadie on her milestone birthdays and put them in her baby book to read when she's older, so she can see what she was into and doing, etc. I don't have pen and paper readily handy and this day is almost over, so I'm sticking this one on here, that way I can transpose it later. Warning, it will probably be cheesy.

Dear Sadie,

Today you are 6 months old. Your Daddy and I love you so very much and are so glad that you are a part of our family. You make my heart smile just by looking at you. You are very smart and very strong. You can sit by yourself, you scoot (almost crawling) all around a room, oftentimes backwards, you drink out of a cup, you roll both directions. You've always liked to stand and are starting to pull yourself up, when there is something to grab on to. You like going to the park to swing and to play in the sand. You are eating solids and always want to hold the spoon yourself. You've eaten rice cereal, carrots, green beans, peas and bananas. I think your favorite is green beans, but bananas are a close second. You are not as fond of carrots. You love taking baths and you will kick your feet and splash your hands. You like to chew on your rubber ducky. You like to chew on most things actually. Probably because you have 2 teeth already. You love music, listening to and dancing with, singing, playing the tambourine with daddy (*video below). We call you Sadie B, Princess of the Flowers, Sadie Potatie (your cousin Stella came up with that). You are a happy baby and are full of smiles and giggles. People constantly stop us while we're out and comment on how beautiful you are and your eyes, especially, and you always have a smile for them. You are very photogenic, which is good, because we take lots of pictures. You love your kitties, especially grabbing their ears, or a fistful of fur. So far, they like you too and tolerate quite well this occasional tug. You sometimes put up a fight when you're sleepy and you still wake me up every couple hours all night long, but we're going to work on that. You are very loved by so many people. You are a very special little girl and I'm so glad that I am your mom.

I love you forever and always.

~Mommy

(wow, I've never signed anything Mommy before... weird!)

Here's the video of Sadie playing the tambourine.

Sadie lady

Today was an awesome day. The 3 of us went down to the get some free stuff from his record label's clothing store and it's about an hour drive. Sadie slept all the way there, and slept all the way back. The girl that hates her car seat at times- was an absolute joy to travel with! We started thinking road trips... probably we'll just do the plane ride to Illinois and the short car rides involved with that and call it a day. haha No need to press our luck.Anyway, so we had time to sing in the car and talk and laugh and act a little like our former selves and it was great. And the label was pretty generous and I was able to get some jeans called Sadie lady skinny jeans. And they fit amazing (obviously still a size larger than before, but I'll take it for now) and are a color I don't have in my post pregnancy closet yet.

We're almost all settled into our new place... just in time to leave again. haha We're heading back to visit family again and then CB will be starting a new tour in a couple weeks. This one will be a challenge because I'll actually have some time in LA on my own with the babe for the first time... and he'll be out for my birthday this year. He's been around for my last 12 birthdays and I'm a sap and can't imagine not having him there, but it'll be fine and go quick and soon enough he'll be home, right?

And a quick update on my own little Sadie lady:

She turned 3 months old a week and a half ago. She's overall a happy baby, but as I mentioned before definitely hates the car seat sometimes. She's laughing a lot now- especially if you lift her up over your head. She has also rolled over several times. The first time was last week on July 6th (date for me to remember to add to baby book later) and that day she rolled belly to back 4 or 5 times in a row. Then I got out the computer to video it and she started watching herself on the screen and no more rolling. Today she rolled again a few times for the first time in a week. I finally got her rolling over on video, but it was only in like 3 steps and not at all smooth like she was doing, so I won't post it (3 steps took like 45 seconds for the whole roll! haha). She's nowhere close to rolling back to belly, but I figure that seems like the harder one, so no worries there. She likes to take baths and she'll kick her feet in the water. She doesn't like getting dressed after the bath at all and will almost always scream and cry until she's totally dressed and in your arms. We are trying out a "flexible" schedule routine, which basically means: Wake and eat, play time, nap time. This is definitely easier to do at home when I can drop everything and feed her, but we do our best and I watch her cues and go with the flow.

I still look at her and think sometimes- Wow, you are really real. And you are mine. The connection I feel to this little girl is so intense and so real and so surreal, it catches me off guard all the time. If you haven't tried this motherhood thing yet, I highly recommend it... but just be ready to be blown away (or maybe it's just me).

I took some pics of Sadie on the day she turned 3 months old. She was giving a lot of love to the camera that time- very cooperative.

Sadie on the 4th of July- She was going through a "squealy" talking phase. That's the face she's making- "aaaah"

Our little fam.

(I think it's hilarious that we're all doing "big eyes")

It's late and I'm too tired to re-read this and see if it makes sense... Hope so!

Milestones

Lots of changes going on over here...

Sadie is growing growing growing! She's grown more than 5 lbs since we left the hospital. We had her 2 (and 1/2) month checkup on Monday and she is now 11 lbs 4 oz. and 23.5" long. She is in the 76th percentile for length and the 45th percentile for weight. If you compare her weight to other girls her age that are also her height, she's in the 5th percentile. She is our little skinny minnie I guess. But she's growing really steadily (about an ounce a day!) so I'm thinking the height part is just a fluke. I mean, how did CB and I produce a tall baby ? haha

The other change is really great... but also bittersweet in a way. The pediatrician said that we can turn back in the apnea monitor that she's worn every night since we got home from the hospital. At first the monitor was a source of frustration for us. Sadie doesn't have sleep apnea (thank goodness!) but she was born with laryngomalacia, meaning the cartilage in her neck/throat/larynx area was immature and too soft. When she'd cry really hard, the cartilage would collapse and she wouldn't be able to get a breath in, causing her to turn dusky blue in the hospital. So in order for the hospital to discharge her, they required that we go home with this apnea monitor (and the guy was really really late delivering it, which is why we didn't get home until midnight!). So anyway, the doctors told us that she would just eventually grow out of this as her cartilage grew stronger, probably by the time she was 18 months. So the monitor was frustrating because it was set to go off if she didn't take a breath for 20 seconds, or if her heart rate was to go down past 70 bpm, and we knew that neither of those were her problem. Because she was small (6 lbs 5 oz) when we left the hospital, we had to use these sticky electrodes for the first month, which would become unstuck and cause false alarms (and really really loud too) off and on throughout the night when her foot would catch one and she'd kick them off. Once she was 8 lbs, we switched over to the belt and the false alarms went away. Around then, I realized that this monitor is actually very comforting. I know that she is breathing, all night long, when she is hooked to it. I don't wake up and check her like I've heard lots of other new moms do (or if I do, I just glance and make sure the monitor is on and working, rather than stare at her belly). Last night, for the first time, I didn't put the belt on and I woke up to check her a few times, but I made it through and slept decent enough, I guess. So I am ecstatic that my baby is deemed "healthy" enough to get off the monitor, but can't help but be just a little nervous about not having my safety alarm.

Sadie hooked up to her monitor on her sleep wedge. She always kicks off her cover too, it's really funny. (She is not using the wedge anymore, since she is starting to wiggle more at night)

The last change is we're moving apartments. We found a 2 bedroom just down the street that allows cats and is only $50 more a month that what we pay now. It isn't super fancy, but does have dark hardwood floors. It is exciting and bittersweet too- we've lived in our current apartment for 4 years - that is the longest I have lived anywhere since graduating high school. I'm excited to decorate Sadie's room and we'll have a dining area!! We haven't had a dining table since we moved out of Hollywood. I'm looking forward to family dinners with Sadie in her high chair and us at the table. Yay! I'll post pics when we get all moved in.

Fairy Princess baby doll

I seriously teared up when I saw this picture for the first time.

Makaya went above and beyond on this one. She found the doll bed. She found the perfect spot in my mom's backyard and made it resemble something out of a storybook. She burned her finger hot-glueing ribbon rosettes when I cluelessly handed her the headband and shrugged my shoulders (sorry about that, kaya :( ). And she also warned me just in the nick of time that Sadie was waking, and I was able to dive and catch her as she rolled off the back of the bed.

I plan to blow this one up big. There are a couple more here.

I totally am jumping ahead here... but spending the last few weeks at my mom's has made me think of my mom when she had little baby me and how someday Sadie will be in my shoes, looking at her childhood memories. I looked at my baby book (wow, I need to get on Sadie's... all we did so far was a footprint stamp), looked through my newborn photo album (she is a pretty good mix of the two of us, I'd say), and went through all the clothes that mom saved of mine. ...Anyway, I can't help but think that future Sadie is going to love this picture and that makes me very happy.

Want a new cardi?

My friend Mari (who I collaborated with last fall, so many of you have met her/seen her gorgeous stuff) has new designs for spring and this cool cardigan is being given away.

All you need to do is visit this blog and leave a comment.

Good luck! I hope I win... but if I don't, then I hope you do! :)

My baby story

Sadie Magnolia.

April 2nd, 2010. 2:57am. 6 lbs 14 oz. 19 in long.

Pretty much nothing went as expected. And that is now my advice for any pregnant friends- Don't try to plan anything... be ready for it all.

Caleb cutting the cord

Brand new Sadie

Bright eyed baby

Sadie and me on going home day

Family picture

Primped up for the hospital photo shoot

3 weeks old and

wearing the dress I made 1 1/2 years ago

These pictures are from last night.

Our attempt at tummy time

Seriously this kid has huge eyes

We love her!

Mother's Day Giveaway!

Wow, what a long couple weeks. I am now a mom. I will have to post pics of the baby and the story of these crazy last couple weeks later, maybe after a nap- HA! But for now, I HAVE to post about a giveaway that my sister in law, Harmony is taking part in. (The button on the left for LaDeLi designs will take you to her etsy if you want to see what types of products she has)

But this giveaway is awesome. It is on Natalie's Sentiments, which is a blog that I admit, I've peeked at a few times. Natalie is a friend of Harmony's from when she lived in Tennessee and from what I've seen of her blog, she has great style and really cool ideas. I'm also loving the yellow and grey- which our the colors of our car seat/stroller system :)

Anyway, there will be 3 winners of 5 different prizes. Go enter for really cute prizes. I love the bird and nest necklace.

Waiting for baby...

Since "Sadie" is now 4 days late (and counting) and my Dr's appointment today was cancelled (so that she could deliver someone else's baby) I have decided it is best to think positively. I am finally going to get a post up here about how lucky I am to have such great family and friends that I had 3 baby showers thrown for little miss (stubborn). ;)

They were all very different from each other and just perfect. The first one was a tea party shower with family and friends from Illinois back when I was visiting at Christmas.

The next shower I had was an awesome surprise~ I knew there was a shower that night, but didn't really know that much about it. Well, they threw the coolest theme shower I'd ever been to. It was held in the super cool lounge area in an apartment building downtown. I'm not very quick and was pretty nervous, so I didn't catch on to the theme, haha. There were top hats everywhere and stars and bunnies. Then Alli told me it was a magic theme. Uh, I LOVE magic. Perfect

Star cookies that Johanna made, they were delicious.

The food (all vegetarian!) was really tasty. And the set up was fancy

There was a cool candy/ cupcake bar set up. Yum

The cupcakes had bunnies and card shapes on them.

Then in walks a man in a suit and I'm thinking... why is there a GUY at a baby shower?

Until it hit me~ He's a MAGICIAN!!! Wow, wow, wow!

The show started and seriously, he did tricks I could not figure out.

Here he is with his magic rope. (You can also see how many of my lovely friends showed up to celebrate this baby girl)

Some of his other tricks included picking and correctly guessing cards, lighting money on fire and then bringing it back (a hundred dollar bill too!). I can't remember some of the other ones he did, but they were pretty cool and even being that close- I couldn't figure it out.

My friends spoiled her rotten with lots of presents.

Unfortunately I am not a good picture taker, so this is the one I'll post. I made a really goofy face, consistently in every picture when posing with each gift. Consistently. The same goofy raised eyebrow-uncomfortable-with-attention face.

After that magical evening, I had yet another fun party in store that weekend.

On Sunday afternoon, my friends from work threw me a great shower with lots of games and prizes.

I was given a crown "New Mom to Be" and a ribbon to wear

This was probably the best tasting cake I've ever had. They got it from Pavilions. It had strawberry/whip cream filling and whipped icing. Seriously delicious.

Sandwiches, fried chicken, chips and salsa, veggies and dip. So much to eat and drink.

I stood by the food for probably 45 minutes just snacking :)

Jami, Tanya, Lauren and Karen

Leslie, Lilly and Mariann (2 of the hostesses) me and Lauren

Cute little Lila wearing my crown.

Lila is the granddaughter of Laura (the other hostess) who opened up her house for us.

I didn't get very many pictures (and even though I tried hard not to make a goofy face in the present pics, I mostly did, so I'll be avoiding those again too) but there were so many sweet girls from the office there. And we played game after game after game. Clothespins, memory, bingo (which I won! haha), chocolate poop diaper guessing game. It was great!

broken machines

Grrr. What's that old saying- Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...

Anyway, yesterday (during day 2 of housewife-ness) I decided it was a good time to wash the rest of the baby stuff - particularly the outfits CB picked out for her going home choices, so that I can finally pack our hospital bag (I mean, she's due next week right? haha)

So I pack a light, but still pretty good size basket of clothes and walk it down the stairs with my brand new roll of quarters. And the washers are not in use. Perfect.

I have all these motivating ideas of laundry and cleaning the bedroom as I load 4 quarters into the first machine. Shut the lid. Nothing. I check the plug. Well, my motivating ideas are turning into- I just don't want to walk this back up the stairs 9 months pregnant... So I load 4 quarters into the other washer, close the lid- Nothing! By this time I'm frustrated. $2 lost. Laundry down the stairs. I use my phone to call the repair company and file a work order.

They don't know if the repair guy will be by this afternoon, so I begrudgingly walk the basket back up the stairs. But not before I go get post it notes to mark that they are broke, so that no one else has to fall victim to the same misfortune I did.

Flash forward to last night- CB gets home and we decided to go across the street for Thai food. As we are passing the laundry room, we see someone in the room with clothes, so we think, wow- they came to repair it fast. So this morning, as Caleb is leaving for work, I have him carry the basket down the stairs and into the laundry room. The note is on the left washer still, but the right one is noteless, so I think, oh- I guess this one is working. Load in my $1 in quarters and shut the lid- NOTHING!

I can't believe that it got me again! And the hospital bag is STILL not packed. A lot of people requested/predicted that I would have the baby today, but I would rather not, so I'm keeping her in. haha

The Talented Ms Larson

A couple weeks ago, my sister-in-law came to visit with my niece Stella.

We did Disneyland (which was definitely a different experience this pregnant! haha) We ate donuts. And we fit in this photo shoot. What Makaya did in about 30 minutes from 8:30-9am before I had to hop in the car to go to a set- was amazing. And some of the most real pictures that CB and I have ever had taken together. I'm so thankful to have these pictures of "just us" taken mere weeks before our lives will be forever changed.

Anyway, the point of this post is that Makaya has just launched her new website- www.makayalarson.com

Check it out- Her work is beautiful and has real emotion. Congrats on the new site Kaya!

I'm beyond lucky to have her in my family and I can't wait for her to capture our babe. Hopefully she is more photogenic and less whiney of a subject than I am ;)

And just for fun, here's one she took of me on Christmas eve, in the drizzling rain about 20 minutes before she packed up the car to drive 5 hours to her in-laws.

Finally!

We've tried it out for a few weeks. It's been a long road coming, but we finally decided- Unless she comes out looking completely different, our little girl will be named Sadie Magnolia. (Sadie was Caleb's suggestion and one that I'd liked from a book I read as a teenager. Magnolia is one I suggested while he was in Europe and since then I just knew it had to be part of her name somehow.)

It is March. She's coming THIS month. That's unbelievable. Saturday I'll be 37 weeks and she'll be full term. The doctor reminded me this past week that she could come anytime now. I think she'll hang in there for a bit longer though. She's pretty good at minding us already. She flipped when we asked her to get back head down. She stayed in when we wanted her to wait for Caleb to get home. I'm asking her to let me get through my last week of work and I expect her to stay put at least another week or two.

The sweetest thing though- she started moving a lot the first night CB was back from his tour, especially when he'd talk to her. It hit me- she missed him. How adorable. She's already a daddy's girl.

Just a few Confessions:

Whenever I hear the song "Empire State of Mind" by JayZ and Alicia Keys... I want to move to New York City. I have always kind of thought that I would live there someday. Whenever I have pictured it though, I have kid(s) that are a little older- like 5.

I haven't done dishes since Caleb left on Saturday. I will have to crack and wash them tonight though... I'm out of clean drinking glasses and I have to make a salad for a work potluck for tomorrow.

I'm excited for the baby to come but I think being excited for my 5 month maternity leave to start is a VERY close second. She is due 4 weeks from Saturday! This pregnancy has flown by and I really don't see it slowing down anytime soon.

My tolerance must be down...

Day 1 of Caleb's mini-tour and I already miss him...

Guess I've been pretty spoiled having him home for the last 2 months!

At least it is a short one- only a week this time.

I think my melancholy is also due to not getting enough sleep last night.

I'm sure I'll feel much better tomorrow.

He played at an Indian reservation tonight. I hope he finds a cool pair of moccassins for the baby!

Genius Shopper Part 2

Today I stumbled upon a great deal! I had received an email from B.R.us saying they were offering free shipping today only and thought... we should really take advantage of this to buy our dresser for the baby. I went online and even though I'd picked one out in the past from there, nothing today was catching my eye. Still, free shipping is a good deal on something as heavy as a dresser, so I didn't quite want to give it up yet. We had talked about looking at the unpainted furniture store down the street from our place, so I decided that I'd run check there really quick to make sure there wasn't something better, before settling on one online. The unpainted furniture store is right next door to a baby store that I'd already looked at and written off as way too expensive. But as I passed by there today, I noticed that they had some discounted pieces on the sidewalk out front. LO AND BEHOLD- the most perfect dresser was right there, marked 50% off. It was everything I wanted for her dresser: dark colored wood, drawers on the left/door with shelves on the right, flat top where we can put a changer AND it was some things I didn't know that I wanted: silver knobs, smooth sloping lines (rather than a box with drawers), 2 small top drawers instead of a 3rd bigger one and SOLID WOOD. With the discount, it ended up being the same price as the lower quality model I'd nearly bought online from Target a week or so ago since tax and shipping was factored into that. CB loaded it up in the van, drove it home, his friends that are visiting helped carry it up the stairs and I filled it with her things this afternoon.

I'm just slightly jealous of her fancy dresser (CB and I have the Ikea style that look like boxes with drawers), but I'm glad she has such a nice piece of furniture (and I'm going to make her use it forever). Here's a picture of the dresser I took from the website. There is a matching crib but we're probably not going to get that until we move to a bigger place.

Which style dresser and which car seat/stroller have been 2 of the biggest decisions we've had to make with picking out "her gear". I've been looking online and changing my mind back and forth since October. It is such a relief to have those decisions made and carried out... not to mention 2 big checkmarks on our 3 page to-do list (typed!).

PS- And good thing about the genius shopper part... because we spent A LOT of money this weekend! Oh well... doing our part for the economy right?

I am pretty much a genius shopper...

That is what I came up with earlier.

A week ago, we got an ad in the mail from Babies R Us saying that if you bring in your used baby items (car seat, stroller, playpen, high chair or bassinet), you can get 25% off a new item (in certain categories/brands). Here I am thinking... I don't have any used big ticket type baby items. How can I take part in this great deal? So yesterday, I started looking at Craigslist- thinking if I could get a cheap something I could trade it in for our travel system. I didn't see anything super cheap on craigslist or not convenient enough to go get. I drove "the long way" to babies r us this morning to pass by as many yard sales as possible to see what I could find. I thought I hit the motherload when I saw a yard sale with 2 car seats and a bassinet. But they were in pretty good shape and nice brands and priced at $50 and $60~ not going to work for my $55 discount. I run into the thrift store and there it is~ a pink dingy car seat priced at $10.99. Woohoo! Standing in line for the cash register I see that Saturday is 30% off used item day!!!! Meaning I got the car seat for $7.70! Sweet! So for my 15 minutes of searching and my $7.70 investment, I saved $55!!

Here it is in all it's glory, our new travel system...

Since the box was kind of heavy and bulky, I got it up the stairs (Caleb was out of town for the day) by opening the box and taking it up the stairs piece by piece. I'm sure I looked hilarious. Once I got it up the stairs, I put it all back in the box- haha. Not quite ready to have it out and about yet, but it does feel responsible to have it. Maybe because having a car seat means we would be allowed to take her home from the hospital.

6 weeks from today is her due date. It's still going really fast.

FYI- Pregnancy = baby

Tonight we had our maternity tour and pre-registration at the hospital. Right before we left, we walked by the postpartum nursery and saw a few of the new babes in their bassinets... and it hit us right then- Wow. We're going to go to the hospital some time in the next 6 weeks and when we leave, it will be with a baby. Funny that we reacted the exact same way in the same moment. It's getting very real.

The more items we check off our to-do list (it's 3 pages long- TYPED!) the more excited I get for her arrival. We did our 8 hour long all in 1 day birthing class on Sunday. I feel just a teensy bit more prepared for that part, I guess. My biggest job right now is to keep her in. Caleb is doing a mini tour from February 21- March 1st and she is NOT allowed out until he gets back. We have an ultrasound scheduled for a week from tomorrow, so hopefully that would indicate any complications that would throw a wrench in these plans before he leaves. (KNOCK ON WOOD) But I really feel like I have had a "by the book" pregnancy so far, so I figure I'll probably not have her until the week she's due.

I'll try to think of something else to write about for the next time... this is turning fast into a pregnancy blog... boring.

wow. just wow.

So every now and then I've been setting up the laptop to take a pic of the belly to send to my mom so she can see how much the baby's (I've) grown...

I saw this one in the file from early on and couldn't remember how far along I was when it was taken. I was thinking 8-10 weeks or something. I just checked the date in the info from the pic... OCTOBER 16th! I was already 16 weeks pregnant!! So this is how much she grew in her first 16 weeks...

And this is how much she's grown in the 2nd 16 weeks...

here we are in all our bumpy glory.

8 weeks left. How much is she going to grow now?!?

It already feels like I can't get much bigger.

Another Wrap-Up

This was a really busy week for me work wise. I put in more than 50 hours- yikes!

Here's a little run down of how it went:

Early Monday morning I had a production meeting for a new movie I'll be working on. It wraps 1 week before I intend to start my maternity leave, so it is really good timing. The movie is starring this guy. He wasn't at the meeting so I haven't seen him yet, but I will definitely be dropping by the set sometime, so it is in the works --I'll let you know how it goes down Sarah ;)

Then Tuesday, another early production meeting for this TV show that I work on.

I just finished reading scripts for episode 17 and 18 and I am definitely hooked.

Then Wednesday and Thursday were devoted to reshoots for this movie.

Wednesday casting and Thursday visiting the set.

Pretty much every available moment in the evenings of the last week have been spent catching up on Season 5 of this show. Man, I wish season 3 would've been that good, we would've never slipped away. We have the 2 part finale left and that is it. Excited for season 6!

Also on Wednesday, it was officially 2 months until this little girl's estimated arrival of March 27th. Which sounds like more than it is, because if you remember, one of those months is February... which is really a fake month of only 28 days (no offense February, but seriously)

I'm 32 weeks now and the other day I looked down, saw my stomach and thought, what?! I never imagined what this would be like. This is by far the most amazing, intimidating, miraculous, uncomfortable situation I've ever experienced.

The past few weeks I've had some REALLY random dreams... storms, horses, driving cars inside toy store/restaurants, killing zombies, setting zombies ghost ladies free (that one was after watching Coraline... definitely a direct reaction). I had the most saddest dream that the baby was born and they told me she had died (in hindsight, I saw her and she was not dead, she had her eyes open and opened her mouth and looked at me- but that's what they told me) I woke up and sobbed for probably 5 minutes while Caleb just held me and assured me that it was just a dream, but it was just soo sad anyway. I dreamed that she was a hispanic baby with tan skin and brown hair. I dreamed last night that she was a boy baby (but fair skin and hair and eyes again). Crazy crazy crazy dreams. I've always had vivid crazy dreams (even night terrors as a kid), but now seriously weird and a lot more often.

This is what I know about her:

She gets a lot of hiccups. And she likes James Taylor. And she does not have a name.

Our next ultrasound is 3 weeks from yesterday. I'm excited to see her again.

The Betty Draper Evening Gala Gown GROSGRAIN GIVEAWAY!!!!

The Betty Draper Evening Gala Gown GROSGRAIN GIVEAWAY!!!!

I don't think I'd have a real occasion to wear this style dress... but if I were to win it- I'd totally have Makaya take pics of me in it and they'd be awesome! Plus I love Mad Men!!

To Move or Not to Move

Currently this is what we keep going back and forth on. But today we decided... not to move. Well, unless we find the perfect place. We saw 5 different apartments today and realized that we either encounter a great (small) building/neighborhood with a crappy apartment, or a great apartment in a crappy building. I don't want to live in a building that looks like a hotel or nursing home! So we're staying put for now. I like our apartment, even with it's shortcomings. This is the longest I've lived in one place since I moved out of my mom's house 10 years ago- it feels like home now. The stairs up to our landing really suck, it's only 1 bedroom, the layout isn't ideal for once the baby becomes mobile, and the parking spot is ridiculous (I'm almost too big to get out of the car now when I drive- that's how close we have to park to the wall), but it is ours and it is pretty reasonable rent. And a huge thing for me- I'm comfortable here. Whenever CB has to leave for touring, I feel safe. So we're staying put... and keeping one eye open looking for the perfect next place for our little family. After all, she'll be in our room the first few months anyway, so the way I see it, we could be fairly comfy here for the next 6-7 months (and that is a lot of extra rent money we'd save). Which means we have a long time to be picky. We don't want to settle (at least not at this point) and I think that eventually the right place will find us.